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September 2017
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An Explanation of Four Letters

An Explanation of Four Letters


Love is not just a four letter word. It’s not a thing nor a place and is impossible to comprehend as just a simple feeling. It is, in fact, the essence of humanity. When a mother gives birth to her child, she is captivated by the overwhelming feeling of love of which she can’t quite describe. When marriage equality finally ruled in favor of same-sex marriages, my excitement wasn’t just because I could finally see some of my friends follow their dreams, but because love finally proved to be uncontrollable.
When in reference to relationships, society in general has come to think that love is restricted to just two individuals. That there is only one soulmate for everyone in the world, and that when you find that one special person, that’s who you are to spend the rest of your life with in a monogamous relationship and everyone is supposed to live happily ever after. The predominant problem with this is that it is an attempt at controlling love. It is an attempt to deny yourself the possibility to allow connections with other people you may cross paths with throughout life. An attempt at controlling love. Now, I’m not saying that being in love with strictly one person is bad nor is it impossible to remain that way for the rest of one’s life; most people do and that is totally ok. What I’m saying is that the attempt of denying yourself the possibility of falling in love when the opportunity arises – whether on a daily basis or once in a blue moon – that is the key problem a hand. It is possible to fall in love every day. I’ve seen it. I’ve experienced it and I’ve seen my friends and lovers experience it too. To come across another individual that we connect with and then to try and deny that connection? Absurd. To deny love is a crime and something that should always be reevaluated. We as humans have it engraved in our souls to create connections through community. We seek to form bonds with others, and sometimes those bonds create soul-connections that are real and are undeniable. Love doesn’t restrict itself to romance between just you and one other individual, love is open and free to all. Love knows no shape, size, color, or being. It is indeed possible to allow your heart to open up through proper communication to the possibilities that present itself through multiple soulmates, multiple best friends and multiple relationships. Love is everything… and that rules. You can’t force it nor can you stop it. Love is an energy that will always find a way and is something to be reckoned with. Love is not just a word with a definition, love is a verb.

On Letting Go
I myself have had trouble with this issue lately… on letting go. Sounds simple, right? Can’t we just forgive and forget and put everything behind us? Can’t we just let love be exactly what it is? Uninhibited Love? Living your life a certain way, whether it be conventional or not, but when things go south, you attempt to control the situation by cutting out the “threat”; attempting to control love. But when you wake up from your dream and finally take a step back, You will have realized that the only thing you need to let do is just let go entirely. Let go of the pain that’s holding you back and your partner back. Let go of what’s making you scared. The fear of loss? Forget it. The fear of jealousy? Forget that too. Let go of the insecurities that stem from the reality that you or your partner are fully able to develop feelings for other people yet remain fully and utterly committed to each others heart.
What is it in our souls that allows us to be afraid of what has already proven to be impossible? I have always prided myself as being someone who does not get jealous, but when that pride was put to a truly hard test, I began to fail. I began to fail myself and fail my loved ones. What I realized recently is that failure is not an option in regards to true love. The only reason one will actually fail in love is because they were afraid. Afraid to relax and let things be. Afraid to have faith that whoever you have a soul-connection with will never leave you. It’s possible that a married couple can be infatuated for eternity with each other yet have separate loves on the side; I’ve seen it. It’s possible to work through a hard time of experimentation in a fully committed relationship and still allow yourself and your partner to continue to love freely; I’ve seen that too. It’s also possible (and completely healthy) to be angry, jealous and afraid at times. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t experience this occasionally. What’s really important though throughout these periods in life is that when you finally get kicked in the ass enough times to realize it’s time to move on… you do just that. You just learn to forgive the only person who really matters: yourself. Forgiveness for others isn’t because they earned it, it’s because you deserve peace in your heart. It becomes more than just something you say to someone when accompanying hi or bye. It becomes not just a word, but a way. Let love be exactly what it is: Amazing.

Definition – ‘An element, feature, or factor that is liable to vary or change.

Sometimes you’ll get that dream job you’ve always wanted because you worked your ass off, and sometimes it just happens to fall in your lap. Sometimes you’re in a relationship and everything is amazing, and sometimes something comes along and really causes problems. What’s important is that you always remember this: everything is a variable. Everything is open to change, everything is never fully defined, and everything can be fixed.
What’s the key to successfully employing this mentality? Communication. Communication is what makes relationships last whether it’s with your boss, best friend, or your lover. Without communication… what is there? I’ll tell you. It’s a place where fear, anger, jealousy, resentment and all things negative grow. Some people believe in hell but I believe in a place where darkness hides. When people fail to communicate is when the darkness begins to break through the seams of the bonds formed. It’s not like I’m saying to forgive and forget overnight, that’s easier said than done. What I’m saying is that without proper communication, people begin to fall into repetitive circles of pointless talk without ever finding a real solution. Just remember… The amazing thing about love is that it in itself is a variable: always changing, always evolving. Once again, love is a verb.

Evolution is real. The Earth, the birds of the Galapagos Islands, the love that we share for life and for others. We evolve every day, whether we are just lounging the house around on a day off or we’re out trying to save the world. People change, and change is good. We teach ourselves how to become stronger from the day before, learning how to evolve from our past. Evolving to be a better person is what allows others to fall in love with us, romantically or platonically. The past is exactly that, just a memory. The past is something that no longer has a defining hold on us just as long as we can learn to evolve into someone new. Sometimes change isn’t the answer, but even when we learn that change is not needed in that very moment is an evolution of our minds of learning when to be still. If there is anything you take from this, let it be that love is real, and love is the answer.

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